my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize