She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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