I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
