dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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