I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm just crazy horny about you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
