How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
