He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize