So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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