So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again