i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.