ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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