I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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