I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
