We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
