Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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