I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Everything about him screamed your future.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
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The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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