sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
