i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
