she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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