He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
