can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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