If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
