I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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