I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
