she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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