Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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