The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
