She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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