We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
