I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
