Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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