there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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