dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
