You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
