If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
