Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
