She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
