Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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