I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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