If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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