There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
