I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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