my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we're making bets on your personal life
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
