so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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