found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
