If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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