Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
