I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
