i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast