Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.