I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
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I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES