Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed