She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home