Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize