Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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