So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just forgot I was standing up.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
