I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize