She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
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Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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