:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
