Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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