I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My penis needs a shock collar
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
