Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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