My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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