so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize