i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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