Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
