I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
